Dedication to Koa

Here's to my beautiful girl, Koa, who died in my arms on April 21st.  She was my love, my life, my reason and faithful companion for 13.5 years.  

There was a time in my life when I felt I had lost everything - even my sense of self.  When I was completely unsure about everything, the only thing I knew for sure was that when I looked at her she made me smile.   She was always there for me.  So steady, so sure, so patient, so kind and caring.

And now she's gone and I miss her terribly.  If it weren't for the consuming preparation of this trip, I would be completely adrift.  I don't like working in the yard, eating meals, coming home, going swimming, just being here without her.  Her memory so permeates everything I do.

I still remember the first time I saw her.  At 6 weeks, she stood so proud with her chest held high.  Her mother was a papered Border Collie and she had every bit of the intelligence of that fabled breed.  She was so smart, I quickly ran out of tricks to teach her.  She had a dozen toys each with different names and she knew them all.  She hung on my every word tilting her head from side to side capturing every nuance and making sure she understood fully.

She was an awesome frisbee catcher, incredible swimmer, always eager for a walk, and loved to play in the sprinklers.  She loved to play with anyone, children, particularly little girls.  

Once at The Pier, there was a man standing in the corner all sad and withdrawn, his arms tightly crossed on his chest.  There were dozens of kids Koa could have played with but instead she went right over to him and dropped her ball at his feet.  He  reluctantly picked it up and gave it a half-hearted throw.  She immediately retrieved it, dropped it at his feet again and just stood there staring at him gently wagging her tail, waiting.  In just a matter of minutes, he had his shirt off and was splashing in the waves with her.  She was always doing things like this.

She was such a sweet being.  So patient, so focused and well behaved better than most people's children.  She never chased a cat or showed any aggravation and would greet all strangers as if they were her long lost friend.  When I would work in the yard, particularly building rock walls, she would visit me every hour or so to see if I were bleeding.  If so, she would clean me up.  I called her my first aid kit.  She was so caring.

With the years, and as she became sick with one abdominal tumor after another, she bravely endured the surgeries always rebounding beyond any reasonable expectation.  She had such tenacity and never gave up.  She was amazing.  And when she died, she went without a whimper.  If only I could be half as brave.  

I will be carrying some of her ashes with me on this adventure and with each Divide crossing (there will be over 30), I will deposit her essence to spread from coast to coast.  The world would be a far better place if we were all a little more like her.

So here's to my beautiful girl Koa.  I love you!  And may your goodness go on forever.